Guard Your Heart and Mind
It was happening again. I was sitting there, itching to leave. I was listening with half an ear to the judgments and name-calling about an individual I knew, and inside I hurt.
If you’re like me, you want everyone to like you, but if you are like me you’ve probably found yourself in situations where people you desire to please hurt you. When I first became a Christian, I felt it was my job to be nice to everyone, but after one very uncomfortable dinner, I was begging God for help.
Like a good Father, God answered my prayer but in an unexpected way. He led me to the book of 1st Peter. When I began reading the words of Peter I didn’t see its usefulness for my problem at all. Instead of showing me how to deal with a hurtful person in my life I was reading a letter about self-control. I didn’t understand and asked God for revelation. I heard it clearly. Yes, self-control was a strange subject for dealing with boundaries, but by exercising self-control in my own life I was respecting the boundaries set by others.
So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. 1 Peter 1:9 NLT
There will be people at work, church, or in our family, that don’t understand or respect the relationship limits we establish. It is crucial that we establish boundaries to help filter what we allow into our hearts. It can be difficult to set boundaries with anyone, but it’s especially difficult to set boundaries with those that are close to us. It’s not sinful or ungodly to set healthy boundaries. It’s a respectful request we make informing others what we are and aren’t willing to accommodate or give place to in our hearts.
Respect everyone, and love the family of believers.Fear God, and respect the king.1 Peter 2:17 NLT
Once I understood the need for self-control and setting healthy boundaries I was able to address the situation with the individual who had made that dinner so uncomfortable. I gracefully approached them, after praying for wisdom on how to do so, and asked that they not bring this individual up in conversation again. The response was harsh, and I had to remove myself from the situation. After a few days, I got a phone call. It was a call to apologize for the behavior and the name-calling of that person. They said after thinking about the situation it was obvious I had been upset. The call ended with a promise that the person would not be brought up again.
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 1 Peter 3:8 NLT
Setting a boundary seemed like the hardest thing to do at the time, but when I hung up the phone I couldn’t stop praising God. It was a serious leap forward in my own faith to see God work so mightily on my behalf. I can now enjoy a relationship that had been strained due to heartache and bitterness, and I am still able to share the truth of God’s forgiveness and His promises for emotional healing with them.
Is there anyone in your life you need to set boundaries with? Ask God for guidance and pray how you can address the issue in a loving way with the individual. Then step back and see the promises of God work for you.